Date Night

I had planned to write that I spent all day doing my chores so I was allowed to go out and play tonight, except it was the kind of day when I felt like I began 20 projects but finished none... except the true number would be far less than 20.

But, we still went out to play tonight :)

I have made the resolution to try one new restaraunt each month for the next year. 12 months. 12 new restaraunts. Although I do have to drive an hour to get anyyywhere, there are so many options once we do get out of town (if we can just break out of our routines and ruts).

Tonight was not one of those nights though. We went to PF Changs for an earlier dinner. The food was good, as always. The service was not.

Then, we went to The Funny Bone Comedy Club in Virginia Beach and saw J. Medicine Hat. It was a bit awkward to find entertainment in a show peppered with so many Native American proclamations. Joke-joke-laugh-laugh- let's talk about why Native Americans don't celebrate Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, or Columbus Day. Joke-joke-laugh-laugh- let's talk about how many Native Americans are dead in the ground at Wounded Knee where I served two years after shooting (an arrow?) at a Federal agent. At one point, the lights dropped and he danced to pow wow music...

His act is unsual in many ways because he's not so much a stand-up comedian as a hypnotist performer. So, he had a handful on people on stage dancing and spelling dirty words. Our seating was bad, as is the gamble you take with the place, but the show itself was entertaining. The opening act, not so much so... a 70+ year old guy telling dirty jokes is just... sad.

After the show, we grabbed cheesecakes to go and headed home.

Ohhh... between dinner and the show though, I discovered a Vintage Jewelry shop, that had an eccletic assortment of odds & ends beyond jewlery, most of of it vintage peices, or otherwise hand-crafted projects. It was funny that as I was going through the shop I found several items that I had pinned on my craft boards.

I bought this necklace. I am going to see if I can hunt down these beads for some creations myself. I adore owls!

Zuchinni Bread

Last week, Jason and I attended the local Farmer's Auction... think "Farmer's Market on Steroids." We bought zuchinni, squash and sweet potatoes. Today, I finally got around to these veggie mountains:

Today's projects was Zuchinni Bread!

Ingredients:
1 pound zucchini (about 2 medium-sized)
3 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon salt
2 large eggs
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
3/4 cup olive oil (or canola oil)
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Optional extras: 1 cup chopped nuts, 1 cup raisins, or 1 cup chocolate chips
non-stick spray or butter for greasing the pans

Directions:
Heat the oven to 350°F. Grease two 8x4" loaf pans.

Trim the stem and root-end from the zucchinis and shred them on a box grater. Gather the shreds in a clean kitchen towel or several layers of cheese cloth and squeeze to press out as much moister from the zucchini as possible.

Combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and spices in a large mixing bowl. In a separate bowl, whisk together the eggs, sugars, olive oil, and vanilla extract.

Toss the zucchini and any extras (nuts, raisins, chocolate chips) in the flour mixture. Pour the liquids over top. Gently stir and fold just until no more flour is visible. Divide the batter between the two loaf pans.

Bake 45-50 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. The finished loaves should have a golden-brown crust and feel springy if you give the top a little pat. Let them cool in the pan for 10 minutes and then turn them out onto a wire rack to cool completely.

Loaves will keep in an airtight container for several days. They can also be wrapped in foil and frozen for up to three months. Thaw in the fridge overnight or in a warm oven for 20 minutes.

The above picture and this recipe was provided by The Kitchn

I chose this recipe because it had some healthier ingredients, or portions of ingredients, than other options, yet it didn't call for anything that wasn't a kitchen staple. I tripled this recipe, planning to freeze a large portion of the batch (since this Homestead-style cooking is a rare... rare... experience for me.) I shredded about 15 zuchinnis before I began baking, so I had to estimate how much to add to the bread. At 12 cups, it was probably more than the recipe called for, but I like things "Messy," so added more nuts than listed also. I used the Pampered Chef mini loaves stone, which took about 45 minutes for each set of four.

Today I just added walnuts. Tomorrow I will play with some nuts, chocolate chips and craisins combos and make another triple batch... because I have oOooOoodles of shredded zuchinni left, not to mention half a mountain of zuchinni still not shredded!

Summer 2012 Bucket List

Today this Ma hitched up the wagon and traveled to Sleepy Eye...

Actually, I drove over an hour into Chesapeake to do some shopping and cure my Get-Outta-Townitis.

The day ended at Target, and although I actually bought very little (a Curious George t-shirt on clearance and a Family Circle magazine), I did spot a few interesting things.

Seriously, how creepy are those ketchup & mustard bottles with faces? So creepy that Facebook recognized them as faces and wanted me to tag them! And the sock monkey for your wine... kinda creepy... but honestly, if we still had winos for friends, that totally screams "Awesome Christmas Present" to me (in a cute little monkey voice). AND, imagine how hilarious it would be to see someone's traditional paper sack covering booze replaced with the sock monkey. I could control an eruption of laughter driving by that sight!

Ok... the other interesting thing (of what I will reference) was...

The School Supplies are coming! The School Supplies are coming!

Actually, since I have an OCD-tinged obsession for school supplies, so this actually makes me happy and not want to pull out my hair screaming because SUMMER BREAK JUST BEGUN!

It was, however, the impetus that I needed to finish the Summer Bucket List that I had been mentally toying around with for a couple of weeks. So, here is a list of 10 things I want to accomplish before going back to school in 50ish days.

1. Visit Water Country & Busch Gardens at least 3 times each.
2. Visit the beach at least 3 times.
3. Complete a scrapbook for Benjamin's first year or for all the old Key Club pics.
4. Visit DC or Baltimore for one (mayyybe 2) days.
5. Picnic at the Chesapeake (or Portsmouth?) park with the train.
6. Get craft room painted, built, organized, and functioning.
7. Go to an outdoor concert.
8. Visit the Living Museum once (Dinosaurs exhibit) and the Children's Museum once (Curious George exhibit).
9. Make an entry (or two) in the County Fair.
10. Start the school year with a functional curriculum and set of lesson plans.

Ok, ok... I know, I shouldn't have work on there... and I am not even allowing myself to think of it until August 1st, but #1 & 8 could be broken into two items... and there IS house stuff and work stuff that I HAVE to get done, and will be so very glad I did come September.

The list isn't exclusive, of course. I will hopefully come up with some unexpected adventures, but it's a starting point, markers, to make sure I don't spend too much time vegging out to court shows and pinning crafts & recipes to "get around to."

So, there it is :)

A Sneak Peek

Last summer, before Justin left for college, I moved Cameron in to share his room. The house was built in 1924 although very little of the original structure remains beyond the hardwood floors and fireplace interiors. Point being made that Justin's room was probably the Master bedroom before the later remodel that added a Master bed & bath, so it is quite spacious and can easily accommodate the extra furniture. Cameron's old bedroom, however, is the smallest room upstairs and I was eying it as a Craft Room for me.

I have done a whole lot grading up there and very little crafting, but unfortunately more than either, it became the new Storage Room... a much nicer name than the appropriate moniker, "Junk Room."

Jason gave me gift cards for Michaels and Lowes for Christmas to get the room going. He even installed awesomely deep and well-crafted shelves in the two(!) closets. But life is busy, and I still didn't get around to doing anything for the room.

UNTIL NOW! I had planned to paint two walls yellow and two walls purple for the longest time. Closer to the project start date though, I was reconsidering doing each of the 4 walls a different color. I was hoping to post pictures tonight but the paint on wall is still wet. So here is the Sneak Peek!





I have a few ideas for some of the wall decor too. On the blue wall, I want to do a buttoned monogram, something like...

Except with an "S" of course, and a more eclectic collection of buttons like...

And, I would love to find a funky frame to spray paint in an odd color. I will probably treasure hunt for a couple of weeks and it that doesn't work out, do it similar to the top pic.

Then on the purple wall, which is the biggest canvas, without window or door interrupting its expansiveness, I want to display fabric on needlework hoops like...

So, I will add hoops and interesting, odd, and likable fabrics to my treasure hunt list. Maybe even some actual cross-stitchig still in the hoop?

On the green wall, to which my desk will overlook for all that work-related and bill-paying drudgery, I want mounted clipboards similar to this...

to serve as an Idea Board and to organize the flurry of ongoing projects (yes, I'm being optimistic here).

(This would be a good place to add the disclaimer that all photos were provided by Pinterest... ie, admit my perjurious internet theft.)

(And add that "Treasure Hunt" totally means "Yard Sale.")

Anniversary Number Eight

I met Jason on-line. He would be quick to correct that statement though. 1999 pre-dated the e-harmonies (at least the less lascivious and more socially-acceptable ones of that nature) and Facebook (even MySpace... gasp!). No, our paths crossed in a Yahoo chat room for Virginia locals (although I had not moved to VA yet, interloper that I was). His social circles with other folks in that room crossed with my social circles and we would often find ourselves at the same BBQs, parties, clubs, etc.

He had a girlfriend at the time and I was casually dating someone too, so we found ourselves in a position to become good friends or irritating enemies because of several personality traits we shared in common.(We won't detail these under risk of being deemed Cyber Bullies!)

The time came when neither of us were any longer involved in relationships and Jason came over for dinner one night... and stayed late into the early morning talking about his childhood dogs. Yeah, that's not a euphemism. "A boy and his dog?" Jason is filled with the childhood stories those iconic ideals are based on.

So anyway, the next night we both went out... with someone else... and found ourselves distracted most of the night with thoughts of each other. That was... unexpected. So, we fell into a relationship.

It was fast-paced. We were both at a transient and evolving stage of life that I think propelled us forward. Our lives have changed so much over the past 13 years of being together. When I lost my well-paying job in advertising, I was at a loss, but Jason encouraged me to go back to school and fulfill the life-long dream of teaching. At many points in Jason's Navy career, we were uncertain what the future held, but he was able to retire and secure the benefits to take care of us for a lifetime, and now he is fulfilling his dream of getting his education degree too.

We are not the same people today that we were pre-Y2K. Our lives have changed over the years, always working towards the better. We have evolved from living in a trailer with two vehicles that we couldn't afford to maintenance to living in a spacious home with two vehicles that are reliable and paid for. We have grown- as individuals, spouses, and a family.

And just when we think we had settled into a comfortable rhythm...

We become parents again, at 38. That definitely was not in "The Life Plan." It's funny though how something can so drastically alter your life... and then you cannot imagine your life having been any other way.

It's odd to me sometimes when I will think of, or am reminded of, something from my "other life." The thing about second marriages, and blended families, and moving to new states, is that you have an entire life BEFORE this life. For me, that's how it feels. There's no one really in my life from "before." I moved to a new state, started a new career. There's no blending of one life transitioning into another. And, it's just odd to think that Jason and I came into this relationship at 27 having been married and parents already.

We had "other" lives, before we had OUR lives... but all that is such a blur... because I cannot imagine my life now any other way.

A Bird in the Hand

There was once a young man that wanted to prove himself smarter than his friend. Behind his back, he held a bird. He asked his friend if the bird was alive or dead. But you see, it did not matter what his friend answered because he was destined to be wrong. If the friend answered that the bird was dead, then the young boy was going to bring forth the live bird in his hand and prove his friend wrong. However, should the friend say that the bird was alive, then the young boy was going to break the bird's neck behind his back and again, show his friend that he was wrong.

This is a story told often by our Superintendent at the Back to School meeting for teachers in August and at graduation in June. It is the message that you control the year, or the life, ahead of you. Are you going to soar? Or are you going to crush the opportunity?

Tonight that same Superintendent held the bird behind his back as he was honored at a retirement party sponsored by the school board. He began his career in education as a Physical Education teacher and coach of many sports, then as assistant principal for the high school before serving as Superintendent for over the last decade.

He has worked in our school system for 45 years. I find that "significant" for two reasons. The first, think how much he has seen the face of education change in 45 years! Graduating from a segregated high school to running a fully integrated and high-achieving school district.

Secondly, I am in awe of working in the same field for that long, with the same specific employer. A couple of years ago, I was "inspired" to make a list of all the jobs I have held. From beginning at KFC at age 14 to entering the field of teaching at 32, I have held well over 50 jobs. It's not something that I used to give much thought to, but something that is unfathomable to me now. I am about to begin my 9th year of teaching (at the same high school). Prior to this, I'm pretty sure I never had a two-year anniversary at a job.

I'm not nearly as flippant about this as I used to be. I am glad that I fell into teaching when I did, only because I have so many more years ahead of me. The kids, and sometimes co-workers, will ask how long I plan on teaching at my high school. The question is odd to me. I don't think about leaving. I have gone through "bad times" at work, but they are just seasons, and seasons change. I was talking about this general topic with another teacher the morning of graduation as we "guarded" the doors. He said most mornings you get up and look forward to coming to work. Some mornings you get up and dread (probably not his exact word) coming to work, but as long as there are more mornings that you look forward to it, you keep coming. I think there a lot more of those good mornings ahead of me.

Day 14

As I went to bed last night, I was making a mental checklist of all I needed to do today. It was a long list, unachievable, most notable: finish painting craft room, grocery shopping, pay bills, cook with the mountainous pile of zucchini, squash and sweet potatoes bought from the auction last week, and call about birth certificates.

Instead

I watched "21 Jump Street" and was overly proud to catch the cameos, and surfed around Pinterest... clearly beginning to see the irony of pinning a bunch of inspirational quotes about "living life" and "seizing the day."

In my weak defense, I feel sick. I started having that sick-feeling "taste" in my mouth from chest congestion last night, and I had another one of those stomach antagonizing days.

So, I am relishing in it still being June, only 14 days into break, and although I haven't accomplished a whole lot of anything yet, there's plenty of time to "take off" and still be able to accomplish and experience a lot this summer.

I love my job :)
(and not just in the Summer)

School's out...

...for summer!

This has definitely been the "Summer Deferred." The kids got out of school on a Thursday (those unfortunate enough not to be exempt from exams and have finished the year two days earlier). Teachers' last day was Friday. A rare occurance, my grades were in on time, I was checked out with the early group, and my room was packed up and ready to abandon for the summer.

Then...
I was asked to teach Summer School. Now, I don't mean for that to sound like the prison sentence adolescent teens may view it to be. I had actually asked to teach, so for that opportunity, I was thankful. I was told that I would be teaching 12th grade, repeat and possibly new. I have never taught Senior English, never even looked inside the textbook, so for that opportunity, I was a bit anxiety-driven (perhaps terrified?). It was a lot of "old dead white guy" stuff, which is just not my genre. So I sketched out an overall curriculum, at least for the reading, but thankfully I didn't let myself invest too much time in it because when I went in the day before Summer School was scheduled to start I found out that my class didn't make (again)... and I wouldn't be teaching (again).

Last summer, I let this news devastate me and put a damper on the whole break. This year I tried very hard to go into it with the attitude though that there was a benefit either way, more money or more summer. I'm glad I asked to do Summer School so that decision was made for me and I didn't have to stress over it.

In the time between school ending and when Summer School was scheduled to start, I planned an over night trip to the Eastern Shore, with the primary goal to correct the boys' birth certificates. I had a tightly planned schedule of shopping at the Country House, going to The Red Rooster for crabs, and visiting the fireman's carnival... before I got to Salisbury and realized it was Sunday. The Country House was closed and the fireman's carnival, not running on Sunday anyway, had ended it's mini-season the night before.

Sigh...
We did hit The Red Roost though and spent an obscene amount of money on crabs, and on Monday we stopped by The Country House and visited The Salisbury Zoo. I like visiting Salisbury, it's reminiscent to see the places of my childhood and early adulthood/motherhood. It's interesting to see the way it's changed and grown. But having no family and not having kept in touch with any friends there, it doesn't have the feeling of "home." I'm not sure anywhere has *that* feeling for me.

Unfortunately, the primary goal of the trip was a bust. The office in Salisbury is not able to make any changes to birth certificates, only print copies. I have to go through the Baltimore office to get the names corrected. So, now I am investigating and weighing the options of driving to Baltimore versus mailing the paper work (again).

Unpainted Toes

I am not going to bother with making excuses about why it has been so long since I blogged or why the latest reported health initiative failed, yet again... let's just move right along.

Tomorrow is the Relay for Life. This used to be the event that ended the year for Key Club. However, this year, just like we had events booked before our normal kick-off at Fall Festival, we also have events booked after Relay this year. We will be working with Habitat this upcoming Wednesday and with an AR carnival at one of the elementary schools this Friday. This is in addition to the two events I would not commit to because we were already so booked; one of them was a Saturday and I was just not willing to give up another one this year.

I have just now reached the point where I am so ready for the year to end. Usually, I have so much stacked on my plate that I push that creeping feeling until later than most teachers because there is so much I want and need to still get accomplished in the final days before summer break. Well, that point has arrived.

My good friend helped so much getting ready for Relay this year that this is the earliest I have ever wrapped up. Usually there is some last-minute idea that pops into my head that I stay up late into the night to complete... and then, usually decide the next day, that I didn't like it at all. This year, I had input and help and someone to force me to get an early start and to give me ideas how to accomplish some things in a much easier method than the schemes I was cooking up.

Nonetheless, it has been frustrating to look at Facebook tonight or text with a friend and read about the fun everyone else is having. I am in the mood where I want to be indignant and claim to be always doing for others and not myself. I really hate myself when I get in this mood, yet it is hard to supress when it creeps upon me.

I raced home from work today because I wanted to go to book sale at the local library. Perhaps sadly, I thought about it on several occasions throughout the day and was really looking forward to it. By the time I got home though, home issues arised and I could not make it down there until they were 15 minutes from closing. I was in tears at the loss of the opportunity to just wander through a room of books at my leisure and fill a bag for the bargain price of $5.

So, then I had to go to Wal-Mart to get supplies for crafting for Relay tonight and I was about to check out, before I realized that I forgot something and had to get back in line to wait all over again, I came to understand that I wasn't upset about the loss of more books to crowd my shelves but I was mourning the chance to take a break from the chaos that is life right now and do a little something just for me.

There is a scene in the opening of Liz Gilbert's Eat, Love, Pray when she is weeping on the cold bathroom floor to her unknown God asking for his guidance and she distinctly hears him reply, "Go to Bed."

On my way back to the fabric department to pick up the forgotten supply, I passed a display of women's shirts for which a white one caught my eye. One rule, quite possibly the only rule, of fashion in my life is when you see a white shirt that fits, get it. You can never have enough white shirts. So I grabbed one in 4X and in 5X and went to the dressing room to try them on (that will be fodder for another post soon, not now). As I stood, nose to mirror, peering closely at the wrinkled bags under my eyes and the hairs above my lip, I asked myself "what are you going to do now." And, as distinctly as Liz Gilbert describes hearing her response, so did I.

Get a pedicure.

This is where I need to explain that I have only once, maybe twice but no more, have gotten a pedicure in my life. Nevertheless, I bought a magazine and bottle of water and went to the nail salon. I signed in and waited, taking in those who surrounded me. Being such a novice at this, I reprimanded my ignorant feet for wearing loafers when I saw the one pedicure customer being slid back into her flip-flops. It brought the momentum- the plan to get bright purple nail polish in honor of Relay- to a halt.

I slid out of my loafers and I sat in the waiting area and looked at my feet. The swollen red toe. The disformed big nails. And had to admit to myself that I am as unlikely to wear open-toed shoes in public and I am to wear a sleeveless top.

I crossed my name off the list and left.

I got a movie from Red Box. The first time. And picked up Subway for Justin and me. I hate that IT came back to food. That IT always comes back to food. The movie was predictable and being so tired, I snoozed in and out during a great part of it. Although I do not feel that I misssed a thing at all.

And now I sit in bed. After midnight. An important day dawning tomorrow. Upset that rather than look forward to such an important day that I am a little sad, and yes even a little mad, at frieds who did and are going out and doing something fun, just for themselves.

Worried

About 2 o’clock yesterday afternoon, I started to spot. It was very little and very light brown in color. After a few hours, I turned to that world-renown medical expert, Google, and surprisingly it didn’t make me more paranoid. Everything I read online and in my pregnancy book led me to believe it was not cause for alarm. It was the right amount and the right color to be “normal” in the first trimester.



Nonetheless, I went to the bedroom every 20 minutes or so to check. Nothing much changed until about 2 a.m. I awoke and went to the bathroom. The spotting was heavier; it was a bright red; and there was a little tissue. I was sure at that time that I had miscarried. Exactly one week after I found out I was pregnant, I no longer was.



I had a hard time falling back asleep but I guess I eventually did. When Jason woke up in the morning, I told him that I was bleeding through the night. He told me the implications of that didn’t register with him until later, when he was on his way to work.



I fell asleep again and when I woke up it was around 9. So, I called the OB office and they told me I could come in to see a doctor. I felt very sick this morning- both my pregnancy nausea and my normal stomach issues. So, it took a while to leave the house and required a bathroom stop during the 40-minute drive to the office. Jason met me there and waited during my visit. I had a hard time giving a urine example, but it was enough for them to do a pregnancy test. It was still positive, but I wasn’t foolish enough to think that was an important indication so early after the onset of symptoms. The nurse told me I was right.



It was my first time meeting the doctor. Other than the fact that he resembled my brother-in-law far too much to be doing the job, he was pretty good at all that “stuff.” He said I was looking at 3 scenarios: an etopic pregnancy, a normal pregnancy with spotting as a symptom, or an abnormal pregnancy. He ruled out the etopic pregnancy with the exam. He said everything looked normal and that 50% of women have spotting during their first trimester. (I’m pretty sure that’s a generous statistic from all I have read.)

I thought I understood what he was saying, but upon driving home, I realized I was a bit confused. In his office consultation, I asked if this could just be normal, and his response included the phrase “threatened miscarriage.” That’s with the normal not the abnormal pregnancy? I should have brought Jason back for consultation. His questions would have probably irritated me but I would have left the visit with a greater understanding undoubtedly.

The doc sent me to have blood work done. I’m severely dehydrated. She tried taking it from my hand to no avail and was finally able to do so from a vein on the outside of my forearm. They are testing my HCG levels and then will again on Wednesday to compare if the levels are going up or down. I will also have an ultrasound on Wednesday to see if the baby’s there. Then, I have a follow-up appointment with the doctor on Thursday morning to discuss everything.

Since I got home from the doctor’s appointment, I almost wasn’t spotting at all. Then, around 6, there is bright blood again. I can’t tell if I am cramping or not. I don’t know whether to call any general discomfort a cramp. Then, I will feel certain there is a cramp, and it is just gas.

I worked myself up to looking at the miscarriage chapter in the pregnancy book, but I couldn’t read too much before I had to put it down. It said that several days of spotting was a sign of miscarriage. I don’t understand how that correlates with the whole idea that it is normal for some women to spot during pregnancy. I guess it has to do with amount and endurance. It also said that a lack of symptoms such as breast tenderness was a sign. Although I am still feeling the general nausea all day long, my breasts are no longer tender.

I feel certain I have or am in the process of losing this baby.