No, not a conflict at the heart of the newest teen flick, but the conflict of deciding which one I resembled more over the past week.
Two Wednesdays ago, the skin around my eyes felt very dry. This is not uncommon for me- a condition of my allergies that more than occasionally flares up. This time though, it kept getting progressively worse. Going out with friends for dinner Friday night, I found myself wiping the condensation from my glass to hold to my eyes for temporary comfort. Saturday, looking into the mirror, I could see that the lids had become so dry that they were cracking and bleeding.
I called for a doc's appointment Monday and was surprised at how easily I was able to get in. I didn't realize it was because I was being set up to see the new doc. I try real hard not to have that small town "We don't like new people" attitude... but I didn't feel real confident about this guy. Since I was already going in I decided to mention issues with pain in my thumb. He ordered a series of blood tests, thinking the 2 might be related- a joint issue, or not- an autoimmune issue.
Tuesday was a really lazy day. We had planned to go to Busch Gardens Wednesday, so I planned to go in for the bloodwork on Thursday. Except, my eyes grew progressively worse after seeing the doc. The eyes themselves turned red and painful. It seemed that the skin issues had improved before I went to see the doc (of course), but then grew worse afterwards (of course).
So, we postponed the BG trip and I went in Wednesday morning for the bloodwork. Jason grew more concerned as the condition grew even worse on Thursday, to the point that it took great effort to even open my eyes. I talked to the doc and he said most of the blood work was back. My WBC was high (infection) along with my SED (inflammation). I told him about my eyes and he ordered some antibiotic eyedrops. We were still waiting for the ANA test.
I had already realized before that point that Lupus was one of the possibilities he was looking at. I allowed myself to grow paranoid over that for a few days. I have to admit that in a small way it romanced me- a reason other than weight for my lack of energy, my need to measure out the reasons to go upstairs, the times I layed on the couch and just felt like my body was so weary. I stared into the mirror several times lookiing for the tell-tale butterfly rash. That was also in great relation to Jason telling me my cheeks looked purple. In actuality, all of my facial skin has grown painfully dry because of the ice bags and wet cloths. Anything I try to moisturize it with, except Vaseline, burns badly.
Today, Sunday, felt a bit more normal. I was able to get up and about with only a few pauses to grab a cloth from the freezer to hold to my eyes for comfort. I guess the drops are working. I am thankful this didn't happen during the school year.
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